Her story: Tina – Embracing beauty, authenticity, vulnerability, success, and love
The Her Story Portrait Project is a powerful journey celebrating women over 40, embracing their authentic selves, and reclaiming their stories through celebration of vulnerability, self-love, ageless beauty, and integration. This article dives deeply into a heartfelt conversation with Tina, 53, who shares her wisdom, struggles, and hopes about aging, self-acceptance, love, and personal growth. Tina’s candid reflections illuminate the challenges and triumphs many women face as they navigate life’s evolving chapters with courage and grace.
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You wear so many hats—Life design coach, VP of HR, transformation guide. How do you describe the woman behind all those roles?
How would I describe her? Umm, she is complicated, diverse, she’s been through so much in life, so many different experiences, she’d hit hard times. These times made her extremely adaptable, very capable, strong. In some ways she was resurrected. Turned into a new woman.
What version of you shows up when no one’s watching—when you’re just being Tina?
It’s a different Tina. Quiet Tina. I finally learned how to unplug myself without feeling guilty about not solving another work problem when I could just be resting. I allow myself to do absolutely nothing sometimes, just occupying the couch :). And it feels so good. I can indulge in pushing watercolors around paper without worrying if I make art. I like it, I enjoy it. It’s therapeutic, so it doesn’t matter to me if it looks like anything in particular.
What do you wish your younger self knew about aging, beauty, and power?
“The acceptance of who we are and how we look has so wildly changed over time. It’s real right now. That wasn’t when we were younger. We didn’t have that when I was growing up, people weren’t as accepting of all the different shapes and sizes. It’s been a long-time rollercoaster with me struggling with my weight, ups and downs of it. It was hard for me to love my body, to accept it the way it looked. It was an ongoing battle for many years. And now, it’s about me really loving and accepting that version of myself, and I feel very lucky that I’m living in a time where so many people have paved the way. Wish I could have done that when I was younger. I wish my younger self would have, you know, felt that she has the same permission to do so. I also wish I just cherished my young body the way it looked, milky thighs and all! I had not appreciated it enough back then.”
What advice would you give younger women about how they should act or feel about themselves?
“One thing that I’ve learned as older versus younger, I’ve looked a lot of different ways. There have been a lot of different physical versions of me, but the way people treated me has not changed. And so I think that the idea of feeling like we have to look a particular way, we have to present a particular image, I think if you’re really authentically yourself, then people don’t change. I think people change when you adjust who you are to get something from them. But if you maintain your own integrity and authenticity, no matter what version, makeup, no makeup, fat, thin, whatevs, you know, you’re gonna get the same experience with people.”
“I guess stay true to yourself. Embrace your own authenticity, and let that be the thing that people connect with. If they’re connecting with a version of you that you’re presenting in order to get their attention and affection, once you start showing them the real version of you, immediately you’re compromising that relationship. It’s kind of a bait and switch actually with people, and they pick up on it. Don’t do that! Always remain true to who you are.”
What does love mean to you now, and where does it show up most?
“I feel like you’ve been on the phone with my therapist :)) We’ve been talking about it a lot recently, her and I. I’m so fresh out of the dark night of the soul. So who I am showing up as right now is so fresh from the other side of a dark time. And for me, what love is all about caring, and caring is vulnerable. So I think it looks like vulnerability.”
“When you care about something or you care about someone. And maybe I think you open yourself up to potential hurt, heartache, disappointment. I think that’s just the nature of it. I could not handle it at a younger age, so I always wanted to just shut down… So now this idea is brand new to me that I think of loving as about, okay, vulnerability, caring, and transparency. Does it make sense?”
“There is also something about voicing your desire to really let people know who you are. Communicating your desires and your boundaries, too. So I think vulnerability is what I think love looks like. It is a willingness to show up with the possibility of getting hurt, but because you value, desire, want, and know that being human is about connecting. Mhmm. And true connection doesn’t happen without vulnerability
How does vulnerability play a role in your relationships and personal growth?
“It’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. But I love how we connect it with words now and into the potential relationships. Because you’ve been there, experienced that already, and really felt that you are now ready to actually be vulnerable with yourself and with others as well. And listen, from my session with you I learned to understand what vulnerability looks like on me, and it’s beautiful. These pictures are so beautiful”
What kind of person are you still becoming?
“What do I think I’m still becoming? Integrated. That’s what comes to mind. I had a very vibrant younger life. I’ve had a lot of life experiences where a lot of wisdom has been gained. And then things got a little too hard… I feel like the person I’m becoming is an integrated person, someone who’s able to access that part of me before the pain and integrate it with the part of me that has been through pain and feel just as alive. Just bringing into your current state all parts of the experience that you’ve been through.”
“I can tend to be a little bit all or nothing. Like, I’m either the person I was, the person in the dark night of the soul, or I’m the person who’s coming out of that dark night. But I think who I want to be is all of those things. I want to become a woman where all of those come together and serve me, serve the world in an integrated, informed way. And I think that there’s a healing journey. I’m on it, this journey. And I think I’m doing a pretty good job. So we’re on our way.”
What came up for you during the portrait session? Were there any surprises or challenges?
“When we got to the boudoir part, I had this corset that I brought. I just love it. It’s beautiful. And I bought it when I was thin because I felt so sexy. And it sat in my closet for several years. Never wore it once. I brought it, and I wasn’t even sure I could wear it, that it’d fit.”
“So it was very meaningful for me to be able to pull it out, put it on and try and re-capture the feeling of being sexy, reclaim the feeling of being sexy again. To finally wear this corset! And, man, those first few pictures that you took of me in that corset and showed me, I was like, oh my god. Hell yeah!!! Like, oh, she’s got a few more curves, and that feelings were so very liberating, to be able to see myself like that. Like, dang it. You are a sexy girl. You’ve got that. I think for me, everything shifted there.”
“Yeah. That was that was meaningful. I didn’t really thought about it that way, but even just as we’re having this conversation, like, yeah, that wasn’t that was an integrating moment. It was like I love it symbolic. Yes. It’s symbolic. Yeah. Symbolic.”
“So that you know, the people who are watching know about that last picture, that black big black and white one of my course. You can see the glisten. The I was just thinking about it in that moment. It got kinda emotional. And you captured it. Yes. You were. And I’m so glad the way you were able to capture that.”
What’s something wild, daring, or deeply honest you hope to do in the next five years?
“Okay. Maybe this sounds cheesy, maybe not, but fall in love. I’ve just I mean, I’m fifty three. I’ve never been in a real long term relationship. This is kinda unusual. It’s a very late bloomer when it comes to stuff. The idea of falling in love feels freaking frightening. That to me is very daring because that is big time letting somebody know me. And letting go of all the control. Right? And just but you mentioned vulnerability and that is exactly part of the process.”
“Yeah. I wanna follow-up. And that to me will require some bold moves, some daring moves Mhmm. For me. But you know what? You are absolutely fully equipped with everything you need Yeah. To achieve that. Thank you. Just like email. And we’re gonna follow your journey. Okay? Okay. So I guess Yes. Yes. I know the questions were. Some some of them were not easy. Right?”
Conclusion
The Her Story Portrait Project invites women to embrace their full selves — past, present, and future — with authenticity and vulnerability. Tina’s journey reveals the power of owning every part of our story, from vibrant youth to the challenges of the dark night of the soul, and emerging as an integrated, authentic woman. Her reflections remind us that true connection, love, and self-acceptance come from showing up vulnerably and honestly.
Whether it’s reclaiming the joy of feeling sexy in a cherished corset, wrestling with control, or daring to fall in love later in life, Tina’s story inspires us to live fully and lovingly. The Her Story Portrait Project is not just about photographs; it’s about capturing the essence of women’s stories and celebrating the beauty of their evolving selves.
