Dating Profile Photographer for Men I Austin, TX & Long Island, NY

PHOTOGRAPHY · DATING PROFILE PHOTOGRAPHER · TANYA EIVIN PHOTOGRAPHY

By Tanya Metaxa | Austin, TX & Long Island, NY-based photographer |

There is a photographer telling men that women have an unfair advantage in dating because we supposedly live in front of mirrors and already have endless flattering photographs to choose from.

That alone tells me he does not understand women.

Then he packages men in a version of wealth, puts them in white pants, gives them a cigar, and builds dating profile photos around what he believes women will find irresistible.

Whose cigar is thicker. Whose pants are whiter.

This is apparently the strategy.

The Most Obvious Man in the Room

I am a woman. I have photographed women for years, and I photograph men too. A man performing status for the camera is rarely the most interesting man in the room. He may be the most obvious one. That is a very different achievement.

The entire production borrows from Vanity Fair without understanding what makes a Vanity Fair portrait work.

A great editorial portrait starts with someone who already has a story. The photographer can play with that story, exaggerate it, or turn it on its head. The styling has something to respond to. A cigar cannot supply the missing mythology. White pants cannot make a man more fascinating. They can only make the pants very noticeable.

I love styling. I love beautiful clothes and dramatic settings. None of that is the problem. The problem begins when the production becomes more interesting than the person.

When Dating Photography Turns Men Into Luxury Merchandise

This kind of dating photography treats a man like a luxury product. The setting establishes the price point, and the man is placed inside it as proof of value.

He may be. The problem is that the package has swallowed him.

His profile is no longer asking, “Would you like to meet me?” It is asking, “Do you understand what I am worth?”

That is a valuation rather than an introduction.

And yes, I understand why a man might love seeing himself that way. Dating can be brutal. A man who has felt overlooked may see those photographs and finally feel impossible to dismiss. He looks richer, harder, more important. The ego gets exactly what it ordered.

But the woman looking at his profile is still trying to answer a much simpler question: Would I enjoy being with this man?

A dating profile introduces someone who will eventually have to arrive in person. The room will be gone. The wardrobe may change. The cigar, one hopes, will remain at home.

An Understanding of a Market, Not of Women

One man is photographing another man according to what he believes women want, and his answer seems to be a more expensive version of masculinity. That may appeal to women who are primarily interested in wealth or access. They exist, and they are entitled to want exactly that.

But that is an understanding of a market, not an understanding of women.

Women are more difficult to impress than this theory allows. We notice when a man has been styled. We also notice when the styling is carrying the entire conversation. A woman can admire the suit and still wonder whether he has anything to say once he sits down. She can respect success and still have no interest in a man who looks like he is about to explain his portfolio over dinner.

The Myth of the Female Photo Advantage

The claim that women have some built-in advantage in photographs is equally lazy.

Women often have more pictures on their phones, true. That does not mean these are all pictures of us. A phone full of images may contain years of family snapshots, endless dog photos, and ‘selfies’ taken by friends who mean well yet terrible at producing a single good photograph (usually the case). And, let me tell you, looking at all those photo dumps does not serve our already pretty shot-down confidence. No sir. Add to this physiological changes a woman’s body goes through so many times at different stages of her life, and now you see how much of this ‘camera-ready’ statement is actually true. None, to be exact. So, let’s not play a game here pretending one gender has it easier than the rest of the world. And for the record, if you think that a professional photographer has it easier because they can direct you in a sessison (or if you are actually curious about it), the answer is no, they don’t. Not when you trade places with them. Not in front of the camera instead of behind it. We share your insecurities, even if we know how to work our angles.

So, let’s put this dispute to bed and admit that no one has it easy. That’s where a great photographer comes to the rescue, and after understanding the assignment and learning everything they can about you, helps you produce those scroll-stopping, genuine portraits that you are after. Except, they look like the real you through and through, not a staged version you need to keep proving to your potential dates over and over as much as to yourself.